God (guest) 09 Feb 2010 23:08
Hello my children. I know each of you has/is/will feel malcontent about the confusing and interweaving gossip and rumors about the doomsday. Let me tell you thus, I did not plan for it to happen on December 12th, 2012. That's actually my poker night with the other, lesser gods. Yes, they exist too but even they know that I AM.
Fear not death children, for each of you will die. Trust in me and I will bring you salvation, or you can just donate 100$ to your local church, I accept checks.
If you still fear the end because of some scientific sounding statements then just remember, it only took me 6 days to make the earth, yet those same scientist teach you that it would take millions of years. Millions of years! You really think that I would sit around for even one million years working on Earth? Sorry but I was really wasted when I decided to make Earth and Life, I regret it to this day, I can even remember my better self saying to my wasted self: "Listen, are you sure you want to do this? I mean what if something goes wrong? I haven't worked out everything about this Life, Freewill, and Consciousness thing." But I just kept going, in-the-zone, you know? In the end I realized that I kinda messed up so I decided not to show my face for a while.
So if you ever feel scared again, just remember, I wont kill you in a glorified, amazing, magnificent way, it will probably be another crazy drunk night and I'll forget to adjust the spin of the galaxy causing the Earth, Sun and Center of the Milky Way will line up in a way that only happens every 350,000 years or so which will open up a gravity field to the Sun's quantum entangled partner, Nibiru, causing the twin to smash into the first 4 planets closes to Sol. Wait…..
