Thanks Alene.
It's weird, I know. I KNOW it's a hoax, I KNOW none of the 'facts' add up and are just amde by fearmongerers who get off on our fear. I studied Aztec and Mayan history as part of an advanced learning course and I know all about baktuns and piktuns and how their calendar will roll over to a new baktun just as ours rolls over to a new year every January 1st.
I've lived with this fear for seven years now, I was scared on 5th May 2005 when the planets were meant to align. I spent the whole day when the LHC was turned on shivering and crying and I can't get on a plane or a boat and when I do, I spend my whole holiday fearing vlcanic eruptions or tsunamis. I KNOW inside that none of these fears will come to pass and I haven't considered taking my life, its just a thought, you know?
For somebody who fears everyday things, like car rides or walking past strangers, or even ironing clothes, when some big deal comes up and with all the media hype, I can't help but jut feel this inkling of paranoia and when I think on it too much it turns into this massive anxiety even though I know i'm an intelligent kid and I've done the math, I've researched the science, I've read this website top to bottom and it has helped me a lot, and so has your comment, and talking to my parents and my councillor bt I still feel it about 20 times a day, this feeling of dread.
In my opinion, the people who encourage and start hoaxes like these are as bad as murderers, torturers and ever rapists. I can't help but think of Chayya Lal, who was so affected by the LHC turning that she committed suicide. I'm fine at the moment, but I dread the few dys before the so-called 'apocolypse' because I know i'm going to be a nervous wreck!