Back in 2008 I heard about the LHC in the Sun Newspaper…..headlines WORLD WILL END NEXT WEDNESDAY………yeah i freaked out so badly it just wasn't funny…… the thing that scared me was the hole Black Hole thing I was scared of there being nothig so for the next week I was in a bad way and then the night before I watching everything i could about it there was lots of stuff happening on the BBC I was awake all night and one of my friends stayed we sat clued to the tv holding hands because I was convinced that we was gonna die ( feels kinda stupid now they wasn't even colliding) so anyways things settled down and then the next thing you hear is that the bloody thing Broke.
This made me extremely happy I could relax but in the back on my mind I know it would be back at some point I still followed what it was upto then I heard that in Nov 2009 it would be getting switched back on and do collisions…….this freaked me out so badly it was unreal…..now I was following on Twitter so I sat by myself shaking and panicking about waht was gonna happen……..I am pleased I had a very big bottle of vodka handy LOL.
Now from this point onwards it was my big turning point. So things was going good then everything went down it was like omg omg omg what's happened so I went looking to see what i could find out….that when I came across The Portal I looked around and thought am not gonna fit in here but this is where I need to be so I joined and clicked with Xymox I had freaked out over the the past 9 months pretty badly back in Dec I had thought I can either stay scared or i can face my fears head on. This is the path I chose now it's not easy getting to grips with physics when you don't know nothing about maths LOL but with a nice bit of help I am getting there……..that much so I am planning to go and learn the maths.
So lets talk about 30th March :D my 29th Birthday and the collision date for the first 3.5TeV beams omg I was so scared but I got throught it with a great bunch of guys settling my mind……now as the time got closer I was so freaking out it was unreal……….I was shaking and I had tears in my eyes i wasn't quite sure on how I should react but I managed so well i was really proud of myself….I can never thank them all enough for supporting me with everything…..I really would be lost without them.
So for now well I am steady yeah I still have my freakout sometimes but if it's something I can reasearch then I do it and I do fast to calm myself as fast as possible and if I still have doubts I ask questions. Anyways enough for now just thought it would be nice for you all to know how far I come and where i stand now.
The road to recovery was not an easy and sometimes it's still hard especially when you have trolls all over the place I tend to live just day by day now, only difference is if something freaks me out now i do some quick research and steady myself pretty well.
Hope this may help some people about the whole 2012 hoax too, my mind was not in a good place but with some understanding and a lot of patients from guys that i now consider very goods I am here willing and able to help others that are still scared and unsure :)
Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow. The important thing is not to stop questioning.
Albert Einstein