I had a dream last night that made me wake up a bit anxious, but then I started to realize that these dreams only exist in my mind. They are only images of my thoughts, and doesn't go past that. Some of this is probably going to sound strange, but hey, its a dream.
Geryl was my neighbor in this dream. He still believed his claims he is making, but didn't talk much about it. He was more into talking about space, and fantasy. I don't remember much of what he said, but I do remember him having a hard time with his sentences. He was awkward to be around. In fact, he had his own space suit that he enjoyed to wear.
My father and I went over to his house to meet him. I was a kid in this dream, but I was mentally the same state I am now. I knew all about his claims, and I knew the real science that refutes them. We all talked for a while, and 2012 nor his claims were ever mentioned. Eventually, I had to bring it up. I remember that he was somewhat shocked that I brought it up at all. I went into a long rant about how it isn't possible, and he just stood there and looked at me with a confident blank stare and his arms crossed.
When I was finally finished, I felt proud of myself. I finally had an opportunity to tell him off. He didn't say anything for about 10 seconds, and then just shook his head like everything I had said were all things he already knew. He started off with "Yes, but you are overlooking" and then a loud train noise came out of nowhere. He continued to speak, but I couldn't hear him. I could only see him making gestures with his hands, and speaking confidently about his claims.
Once the train ended, he was finished explaining. I didn't bother to tell him I couldn't hear him, because he had other visitors that just showed up. I just stood there with a blank expression. I started to fear again that he knew it all, and that it was all going to happen as he said it would. That I only had a little bit of time before I would no longer be around. I turned around and realized his guest was someone with a phd in astronomy (no clue how I knew that). Geryl was in a debate with the astronomer. I was unable to move from where I was standing, but I saw the astronomer's face go white with fear. My father started to call people, and tell them what he had just heard. Geryl turned toward me and just slightly smiled because he felt he had accomplished something.
When I woke up I was actually fairly calm. I understand dreams are not real, but I also think they have a deep personal signficance that are often overlooked. I always have a bit of anxiety in the mornings since this 2012 thing, its just something that probably won't go away until the date has come. So I woke up thinking about that dream. I kept reminding myself that it is only my own thoughts, it has nothing to do with reality. But what was I thinking? I already knew his claims didn't work in reality. Here is what I realized:
I realized that even though I know his claims aren't possible, subconsciously I am more afraid that he isn't telling everything he knows on his website or even in his books. Subconsciously, I am worried that I am underestimating what he knows just because he has a hard time writing it. I didn't get to hear his counter-debate because in reality, I know it probably doesn't exist. But it exists in my own mind, because I fear it. I felt like the astronomer represented this website. Subconsciously, I am fearful that this website didn't get all the details. That the evidence that we have is all wrong, even when it makes sense. I fear that this fear is going to spread, and that some people will actually welcome it. I fear that I worked so hard for the life that I made for myself, and it was all for nothing.
I don't think about this stuff during my day to day life, because I know it just a transient stage of my life that will all change in 2013. But this is why I keep coming back to Geryl's crap. Because the fear is stored in a place that nobody can truly reach. They can calm it for a while, but something always triggers it again. Whether it be Geryl himself, or a post on this website supporting him, or a post on a different website supporting him, or a claim in question somewhere that supports a minor part of his claim. This part of my fear actually TRIES to put together a puzzle with missing pieces, so I grab pieces from other puzzles and try to make them work. But it doesn't.
This post isn't about Geryl, but more about fear in general. All readers please understand that this is MY dream, and it has nothing to do with reality. It only exists in my head. It isn't predicting anything, nor is anything in it real outside of my own fear. I just found it incredibly interesting, and needed to share it with the only people who I really talk to about this stuff, and the same people who have trouble understanding the sometimes irrational fear that exists in people that come here. Take from it what you will. I am hoping that it helps some of the debunkers who never had fear, understand, and not get quite as frustrated with the repeating questions.
