I need help.

I need help.

Mandddaaaaa 09 Jun 2011 13:13

My family and I just moved to the neighborhood we currently live in, about five years ago. When we got here, we were welcomed with open arms by everyone on the block. My little brother actually had people to play with. There was a family that lived a few houses down with three kids, one of which played with my brother. The little dude was older than my brother, and kind of tried walking on him by trying to always 'borrow' his videogames, and things of the like. Anyway, after the little dude stole my brother's bike, things drifted off into the deep end. Everything has turned into a racial battle of some sort? My family is white, and the other family is black, it was never something we cared about? All of a sudden the children of the other family started beating up my brother, the LITTLEST one (who was in kindergarten at the time, my brother was in 5th grade) stabbed my brother with a staple-remover (injuries weren't serious). They've started calling us 'white trash/cracker/etccc' please keep in mind that my family hasn't done ANYTHING to this family to deserve that kind of treatment. My mother handled it with the school board and police, my brother was going to a different bus stop because the school wouldn't do any disciplinary action towards the other children.

Anyway, it's been about 3-4 years since all, things died down, it was nice. Now, since my brother has gotten into high school.. The older son that my brother used to play with has gotten into some trouble with the police, been on house arrest, things like that. According to my brother, this kid has been waiting at the bus stop for him, and goes up to him saying he 'owes him money' my brother has tried walking away multiple times (my brother had anger problems in the past, and we taught him he can't just snap at people right away.. which is why he hasn't done anything….yet) but this kid grabs on him, and pushes him until he gives him the money out of his wallet. There was a time where the other kid had two other people with him, and went up to my brother trying to get money. They were threatening to beat him up, there have even been cases where they said they were going to take out their gun. I don't know what to do at this point. I'm sick and tired of being walked on because we're white. IT MAKES NO SENSE AT ALL. Maybe I could understand a grudge existing had my family called them names, or done something to them, but we haven't. Why do people think they can walk on people because they're of a certain ethnicity? It's bullshxt. My family wants to go to the police, but because it had been so long since the kid messed with my brother, it's 'hard' to tell it's actually him, because they've all gone through puberty, but I know it's the kid, my brother doesn't realize that people grow up >_>

Anyway. I need advice. Sorry for so much text.

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The numbers don't lie

Last edited on 09 Jun 2011 13:18 by Mandddaaaaa Show more

Re: I need help.

Mephistospheles 09 Jun 2011 13:16

The irony is… this mirrors the situation before the civil rights movement. Except it's the whites against the blacks. But that could be considered assault, right?

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Our fears are more numerous than our dangers, and we suffer more in our imagination than in reality.

Last edited on 09 Jun 2011 13:16 by Mephistospheles Show more

Re: I need help.

Mandddaaaaa 09 Jun 2011 13:21

I don't like considering it 'whites against blacks' because it's only that family, we have plenty of other black people in our neighborhood who we're friends with. I just don't understand what we did.. Yes it could be considered assault. I was thinking about parking away from the bus stop, just close enough to see, and take pictures if anything does happen. My parents don't get off work until my brother is home, so I'm the only one who can get any 'evidence'.

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The numbers don't lie

Re: I need help.

Mephistospheles 09 Jun 2011 13:22

I wish you luck, but have you considered the pacifist's route?

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Our fears are more numerous than our dangers, and we suffer more in our imagination than in reality.

Re: I need help.

Mandddaaaaa 09 Jun 2011 13:29

We have tried that, to the point of telling my brother to never hit back, etc. The parents of these kids don't believe us when we try talking to them. In a school conference, the mother of the children tried saying that her kids didn't do anything, and we were the ones that attacked them because they're black..? Meanwhile she was never around, and never witnessed anything..

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The numbers don't lie

Re: I need help.

Awesomeee 09 Jun 2011 14:58

Wait if im not confused… The kid stabbed you'r brother because you'r brothers bike got stolen?

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No man knows the day nor the hour when the world will end.

Become a debunker and help out those that are being fed up with lies spread by False scientists going after you'r money.
Practice what you want to and dont give up on you'r dreams my dream is to become a basketball player 'NBA'

Re: I need help.

Mandddaaaaa 09 Jun 2011 15:29

Err.. The kids stole my brother's bike first, for no reason. Then they stabbed my brother, for no reason again.

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The numbers don't lie

Re: I need help.

Awesomeee 09 Jun 2011 15:54

Thats strange …

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No man knows the day nor the hour when the world will end.

Become a debunker and help out those that are being fed up with lies spread by False scientists going after you'r money.
Practice what you want to and dont give up on you'r dreams my dream is to become a basketball player 'NBA'

Re: I need help.

Lindsay88 09 Jun 2011 16:00

Honestly i would get the police and the school involved. Theyre threatening his life. They would make sure he couldn't come around. The only problem with that is, it might make him more angry…have people waiting for him at the bus stop to make sure nothing happens. Let teachers know so they can be on the lookout..

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*live*laugh*love*dance*

Re: I need help.

Awesomeee 09 Jun 2011 20:09

This story seems really strange , I mean seriously who would do such a weird thing for a weird reasson.

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No man knows the day nor the hour when the world will end.

Become a debunker and help out those that are being fed up with lies spread by False scientists going after you'r money.
Practice what you want to and dont give up on you'r dreams my dream is to become a basketball player 'NBA'

Nighthawk (guest) 09 Jun 2011 16:28

You say you have friends in your neighborhood, and they like you. If the people beating your brother up on are the bullies on the block, get your friends to send a message to the bullies. First with their voice and if things get real serious then physically. That is if the school and police fail. My opinion.

Re: I need help.

Mandddaaaaa 09 Jun 2011 16:36

We have friends in the neighborhood, they're just not extremely close to us. I don't think my brother's friends could intimidate this kid, especially since the police obviously don't. The school probably won't do anything about it seeing as the kid who is tormenting my brother is not in school (I believe he dropped out). We've talked to the police, we have a detective investigating things, but it's just getting more and more difficult to send the message. We're afraid that if we press charges on this kid, and nothing happens, he'll just torment more.

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The numbers don't lie

Re: I need help.

Gary A 09 Jun 2011 20:33

I'm afraid you've got yourself a toughie there. If you go down the road of getting the authorities involved, your brother could be called a snitch (not saying I agree with that at all, just telling it like it is) and as you say it could actually make things worse.

I'd do as you say and hang around in an area you won't be seen, taking photos or video evidence of these assaults or intimidation. Once you have the evidence, you could take it to the police. Explain the situation and your brothers fear of retaliation if he was caught going to the police. Ask them if at the same time and place, they could just have a car or beat cops watching from an area they can't be seen, then when the police turn up, it looks like they have arrived on the scene of their own accord.

Any offensive weapon this person has will be found and added to a charge of intimidation, and the difference between intimidation and intimidation with an offensive weapon is about 5 years in jail. I know it's a long shot but, sorry, it's the best I could do.

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The great thing about science is, it's true whether you believe in it or not.

Re: I need help.

Mandddaaaaa 09 Jun 2011 20:52

I went to the bus stop today, parked in my car where I couldn't be seen - my brother didn't even notice me. When my brother got off the bus, he just walked home as usual, I followed him with my car, and noticed that the 'tormentor' was sitting outside of his house on the hood of his car, he wasn't there when I left if that tells you anything. It's funny.. once he saw my brother get in my car, he went back inside, as if he was just waiting to start shxt with my brother. My brother confirmed his identity (name, etc) so we're going to talk to the kid's parents, and if nothing good comes out of that situation (which it probably won't..) we're going to the police.

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The numbers don't lie

Re: I need help.

Rita Sue 09 Jun 2011 22:29

I think y'all are doing the right thing. You don't want this to be the next Hatfield's and McCoy's… But you also don't want this kid harassing/hurting your brother. If this kid actually has a gun on him, and has threatened your brother with it… That could be enough to land him in jail which is where it sounds like he's going to land up in sooner or later anyhow. If there's anyway you or your brother could prove it (without getting hurt) that would be great. Too bad you don't have family in the mafia… I kid, I kid!

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"FEAR: False Evidence Appearing Real" - Unknown
"Extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence" - Carl Sagan
"Your leftovers called… They want their tin foil back." - Personal note to doomsayers.

Re: I need help.

Alene Y 10 Jun 2011 01:26

I've been mulling over how to answer this, but unfortunately, I don't have a solution for you other than what you're doing now.

My 10 year old grandson has had a similar situation going on since he was 7. The mother and siblings of the boy who is harassing him are actually in on it and encouraging it. The mother used to work in the Court Clerk's Office. She actually filed charges against 7 year old Noah for stalking. It was completely the opposite of what was actually happening. She signed for the Clerk's Office herself and got the judge to sign it, evidently without reading it. Well, they went to court and fought it. The judge appeared stunned when she read the papers (as if she hadn't even seen them before). The charges were dropped, the woman was fired, and the judge put a restraining order on them to stay away from Noah. Unfortunately, these beastly children ride the same bus to school and the harassment has continued. They hit Noah until he hits back, then he gets banned from the bus for a week. My son talked to the Principal and told about what the bus driver was doing. I haven't heard the results of that. My son takes his boy to the bus stop and waits with him, but he can't go along on the bus to keep them from heckling him. At least these kids aren't old enough to be dangerous yet.

Anyway, if you get any proof of what this boy is doing, you should be able to get a restraining order. Since he is out of school, and has no valid reason to be at the bus stop, this would make the restraining order more effective than it was for Noah's tormentor.

man2man (guest) 10 Jun 2011 05:04

Ok, I grew up in trenton NJ, and I tell you what the pacifist route sounds all noble and nice, but really what your saying is I'm willing to eat a sh— sandwich everyday, suffer abuse, maybe nightmares and mental problems later in life, so you can be the person on the 'right' side.

First your borther should have kicked his a. period, Must be all women on your household, It was in mine when I was grewing up. I suffered the same crapt, for years (years). All i heard was let them make the mistake, and we'll get evidence, blah blah blah. The truth is you get evidence and put ONE in jail which is very unlikely since there 'just kids' and 'boy will be boys' is still the prevailing philosophy, but lets say you get it, the cops look at it, he goes to juvenile detention (or whatever its called there) a week or two later he gets out of 'funville' having learned all kinds of new tricks and goes straight for your bro. Then you have to worry not only that you pissed the kid off, but the parents, and siblings, and oh yeah any other kid who doesn't like snitches. KICK HIS A hard and brutal, get it over with. Doesnt even have to be a fair fight, get medi-eval and jump him when he waits for your bro. hurt him bad and send him running forever.
I was raised in Trenton, black poeple used me as a punching bag for years becuase of what white poeple did hundreds of years ago (nevermind I'm irish and we came over long after and were treated worse then blacks). Noone wants to hear you whine that your brother is getting beat up (i mean at the police, the school, the board, ect) they just want to clock in , clock out. without any problems from parents or lawsuits. KICK HIS A— you and your bro, and your other siblings, jeez stick together. pacifists are poeple who think logic will solve an illogical event.
I fought over and over and over, I finally ran out of poeple to fight. I didnt win, I just kept going back for more. I lost almost every fight I had, but it wasn't the point. Everytime I was challanged I swung, no preamble, no reasoning. JUst swung ASAP, The poeple who wanted to fight me soon learned they better be prepared to actually fight each and every time. It was about 6mon later, one of the bullies turned to ma in the lunch line and asked me to come over and play games at his house. granted i only made one 'friend' out of dozens, but it was over. no fights, no conflicts, for 4 more years until I moved.
He ate food at my table many times, I had dinner at his house as many times, we slept over each other houses. When we moved….He helped us carry furniture and boxes. my mom even gave him money.
I spent part of what should have been a fun childhood getting beat up and harassed, I ran home, I hid, I got beat anyways. Mom and my aunt tried the whole 'chick method' police,school,board of ed.,big brother program, bah.
Its a guy thing, stand up for your self or you get messed with until you do, its like natural selection.

NONE of this would have happened if he had simply punched his lights out at the first sign he was being tested. BTW that what inner city black call it 'being tested' or 'being tried'

Authorities dont take it seriously cause its children, the good news is it works both ways. if you trash him he has to go through what you went through to get someone to listen or do something and he'll find the same obstacles to geting 'justice'. Just make sure no-one has a camcorder on ya. :P

If your brother can take him solo, have him do it, without provacation, just go imeadiately and beat him down, tell him to swing first, hit hard, and keep hitting (not in the face). kick , stomp, go postal
that kid and his family will be so frightened of him they wont say a word ever again. No one in the neighbor hood should do anything. having watched this from closed doors, and drawn curtains.
Be smart, choose an isolated place, or alley. and wrok the sh-T out of this kid

You'll be doing the black kid and your brother a favor. The black kid (if you stomp the —- out of him) will have a learning moment he'll never forget (prob stay out of prison and gangs) and your brother will get his self-respect back. guys fight, fists as kids, words as adults. so enjoy being a kid.

Nothing castrates a man faster then listening to woman to solve problems between two men. Your brother has a problem expressing anger, which does not mean he should supress it omg do ask him to do that. tell him to go to the kid and express his anger. Learning who to be mad at is as important as not expressing anger at poeple who didn't cause it.

thats the long-winded way of saying, let the two kids fight it out, and earn each others respect.
I had more respect for myself while fighting and LOSING, then when I was running and hiding or 'covering' up . And if your bro cant do it, YOU do it. use whatever means nessecary to avoid messing up your bro's head for life.

sorry, its sort of a personal issue for me.

DieselHorseLAW 10 Jun 2011 05:21

You are right it is a no win situation when it comes to calling the police. That will entirely piss them off more than anything else, and in all honesty it is even more touchy because they have used weapons before. Of course you can tell the cops this, but it is just your words against theirs unless you were to catch them using weapons, and do you honestly want to let your brother get stabbed or shot or something to record it and get them in trouble. I mean, it is really a mind boggling situation, one that is unfortunately way to common. Of course I'm sure you wouldn't have a easy time convincing your brother to take a swing at one of them either, since I'm sure he is probably scared of them after the crap they have done to them.

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“In all matters of opinion, our adversaries are insane.” - Oscar Wilde

Amanda (guest) 10 Jun 2011 13:14

Wow. I appreciate all the posts and advice. Man2man you opened my eyes quite a bit, but then again you were also preaching to the choir. Also Alene, the mother of this kid is just as ridiculous as the mother of your son's tormentor. The mother of these kids is a selfish, RUDE, bxtch plain and simple, she's also a drug-addict, but that's a different matter. My parents have had conferences with the parents of the kids at school when my brother was in elementary school.. My dad had to walk out of the room because he was going to punch the mom. (My dad doesn't hit women, if that tells you how bad she is..) The parents of these kids try to say they 'have their kids in check' BUT THEY DON'T. One of their sons was murdered because of gang-related things, none of their kids go to school, it's just ridiculous.

Man2man, I agree with what you're telling me about 'letting my brother go postal' WHICH I would do, if I was confident this kid wouldn't pull out a weapon. I'm sorry, but I cannot risk my brother's life like that. Although, this kid wasn't too willing to mess with my brother when I rolled up behind him with my car.. haha. I personally would be the shxt out of this kid if I could. I'm 19, so if they really wanted to, they could file charges, and mess my life up forever. I tell you what though, I'm not scared of this kid. Granted.. this kid is like 6ft, relatively muscular, nothing serious. I'm only 4'11.. BUT, like my brother, I too have a problem with my anger, haha. My dad told me yesterday that if this kid does anything to my brother again, he will personally rip him a new one.. Something along the lines of 'if we can't prove this kid is tormenting your brother, and fxcking with him, then they can't prove I whooped his ass' (LOL) My dad's a big dude, so I don't think that would be anything for me to worry about..

I just don't really understand people nowadays. Seriously, the only reason my brother is being messed with is because he is white, as if that's something he can control? lol. I know my brother could beat the kid up, especially if he didn't hold back, he plays rugby ffs, but like I said.. it's my fear of weapons. This kid makes no sense to me.. I walk around the neighborhood all the time, just going on a walk, and he's been outside, SEEN ME, and not said anything to me? He knows who I am, he knows I don't like him, I've told him off quite a few times, but he's not all big and bad when he sees me? What's the point of doing it when my brother's there? As if it makes him a badass picking on someone when no one's around..

Rita Sue 10 Jun 2011 14:15

I agree with man2man except what if this guy pulls out a gun on your brother, and heaven forbid, would try to use it?

My mom always told me ever since kindergarten that if someone messes with me or bullies me to turn around and punch them as hard as I could. She even taught me how to properly punch someone! Fortunately, I only had to do it once and it really worked. However, this was in the 5th grade and there were no guns or knives or anything like that. If your brother knows that this guy doesn't actually have guns/knives on him then I would agree that he should give the guy a good beat-down, perhaps get some tough uncles/cousins involved!

Since this guy potentially has dangerous weapons that complicates things a bit, though.

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"FEAR: False Evidence Appearing Real" - Unknown
"Extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence" - Carl Sagan
"Your leftovers called… They want their tin foil back." - Personal note to doomsayers.

Mandddaaaaa 10 Jun 2011 14:33

Yes, that's exactly my dilemma. He's never carried anything with him, from what I've been able to see, he mostly wears basketball shorts as well, that have no pockets. I wouldn't put it past him to carry anything though. I've been thinking about getting some cousins involved. We have two cousins, my brother's age, and I'm sure if all three of them got together and ganged up on this dude, they could damage. It's so difficulttttt.

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The numbers don't lie

man2man (guest) 12 Jun 2011 08:25

I admit Im older then some here, I remember gangs when they used to fight with chains and bats and trashcan lids as shields. Today any kid can be a thug if he can get a gun, just point and shoot. But what kids fail to understand is that its dangerous. Somehow this kid like so many others, feels invincible, that the world cant hurt them, or what the world throws at him he can take (prob courtesy of his family members) He needs to seriously learn that lesson, I am entirely serious that if this thug-kid doesnt learn it soon, it will be too late for him.

If you cant beat 'm, outsmart'm. He's probably not too bright. and there are several key phrases that kids respond too in households like that.

"go ahead beat my a—, your mother will goto prison and you goto foster"

"you must like juvy huh?'

To the mother….
"We have your son on tape, if you dont get him under control, I'll turn it into child services and you'll goto jail, while your son goes to foster."

And you can have your dad do a real good impression of a cold monotone dialogged speach like " I dare you to touch my son…(getting in his face) I dare you…do it please do it, give me a reason' ( dont actually threaten anything, so later you can say the 'action' would have be charges, not violence)

my favorite, send a letter to the house with offical looking letterhead, stateing that if another complaint about thier son bulling kids in the neighborhood, a full scale investigation into her (the parants) activities will be launched and may result in her (the parant) being found guilty of child negligance which carries a 5yr/5000 fine blah blah, and her son(s) and daughters being placed in foster care under judicial supervision.
Be smart use gloves and print it at the library, then photocopy it. actually mail it and watch the fireworks the night she gets it. you can get the letterhead fro child services in the waiting room, from the brochures and memos board

A mother will always protect her son, however, when jail time in involved… the a-sbeatings begin

anonymous tip,
call child services, and have them visit, (before the note) maybe mom won't like the attention (being a drug-user.) have them drop by. (then send the fake note if things dont change)

Best solution is to just beat the fear into him.

Hope that helps.

not knowing more details thats all I could come up with off the top of my head.

man2man (guest) 12 Jun 2011 08:29

you could also launch a three phase efffort…

call child services, then send the note, then approach the mom with the 'tape' speech. I'll bet that kid steers clear of your brother for a long while.