Isolation

Summary:

How do you manage your fear without infecting everyone else?

Isolation

rattlyknees 25 Nov 2012 20:24

hi,

I've been afraid of this approaching date for years now. you would think that I'd be too smart to fall for it—I'm well-educated, middle aged, and I have a good head on my shoulders. But I also live with chronic depression, panic disorder, I've had a ridiculous amount of violence and trauma in my life, and all of that has left me ultra-vulnerable.

I'm having a very rough day today. Thanksgiving is over, it kind of feels like the 12/21 countdown has begun in earnest. My agreement with myself ever since this fear arose for me in 2009 was that I would not under any circumstances share it with friends. That I would protect them, knowing the effect it has on me when I hear that someone else is genuinely afraid. So I don't. My therapist knows. She is not available for calls on the weekends. And today I want more than anything to talk to someone.

I love David Morrison's videos and articles, I love the work that you all are doing. I think the "managing your fears" page is very useful and supportive. But sometimes, I can't even deal with reassurance without getting triggered. This morning, at my church, we had a wonderful sermon on worst-case scenarios. It was all about the end of the world from a Christian perspective. My minister knows exactly what my baggage is with all this. I should have been able to draw comfort from her words, but I came away in a state of panic and right now I'm unable to return phone calls.

I have a responsible job to go back to tomorrow, I'm a very good musician, a writer, and I have a dog whom I love to pieces. At the moment, I can't draw on any of that. I told my boyfriend about all this briefly back in the summer, and I don't think he really understood the power my fear has over me sometimes. So I have dropped the subject and I feel very far away from him.

So here's my concern: how do you talk to friends and loved ones about your own fear (if you do at all), when it's really really bad for you to be alone with it?

Re: Isolation

vwgreen 25 Nov 2012 20:36

how do you talk to friends and loved ones about your own fear (if you do at all), when it's really really bad for you to be alone with it?

If you worry about scaring someone else with it, maybe choose who you decide to talk to who doesn't share the same panic and anxiety. Maybe start by trying to talk to them about how it's impossible or ridiculous, read around here and then talk about what you know. You might be able to convince yourself while explaining the science to someone else. Of course there's always everyone on these forums who don't scare easily and are more than willing to listen to people with genuine fears. It's never fun to be alone with your thoughts, especially when they're filled with thoughts like these. Hopefully once you get more replies here, and we can get a discussion going, you can feel better.

---

A lie can travel half way around the world before the truth can get its boots on.

Re: Isolation

Samantha Rowe 25 Nov 2012 20:44

I confided my fear in my best friend and husband. I have been deathly afraid of 2012 since 2007, and even on medication for it. This is the first time admitting it, and can't believe I'm coming out and saying it, but I have 2 small kids and was thinking about murder/suicide so we didn't all have to suffer. The members of this page are AWESOME and answer questions in depth. There are also people like me, who have been traumatized by this.

My best friend is very calm and relaxed, so I know I can talk to her without freaking her out. She actually went on a cruise to Mexico and visited the Mayan ruins. A Mayan elder told her that she is sick of this end of the world b.s. and what it was doing to people. She said it's just a big celebration for them. That's it. There are a lot of very helpful videos in this forum as well, and if you have any specific worries, look to the left, or do a search.

I hope you feel better!

Re: Isolation

Alene Y 29 Nov 2012 06:29

Oh Samantha, I never dreamed you were thinking of such a thing. I'm so glad you got over it.

Re: Isolation

Samantha Rowe 29 Nov 2012 14:11

Yeah, I was REALLY bad for a while, to the point they had to keep me sedated on Ativan. I still get nervous and just can't wait for this 2012 thing to be over with.

Re: Isolation

rattlyknees 29 Nov 2012 17:28

I have my bottle of Ativan handy at all times because of 12/21. I rarely take it, but I have my doctor's permission to use it liberally as the date approaches. I'm glad I have it on board, but it also makes me furious that the fear-mongering has gone this far. And it breaks my heart, Samantha, to hear that you were considering murder/suicide. You sound like a good person. Glad you're back in the land of the sane, even if you're nervous!

Re: Isolation

Samantha Rowe 29 Nov 2012 19:21

Thanks, I try :-) I guess you could say that was my dirty little secret. I can't take my meds cuz I'm 7 1/2 weeks pregnant, but they just put me on Welbutrin, so we'll see how that goes. I guess my point is, I was REALLY bad when it came to the 12/21 hype, and if I can overcome it, pretty much anyone can!

Re: Isolation

obaeyens 25 Nov 2012 21:08

I told my boyfriend about all this briefly back in the summer, and I don't think he really understood the power my fear has over me sometimes. So I have dropped the subject and I feel very far away from him.

How do you expect that your boyfriend can help you when you do not give him a chance to help you?
Men are not always very good in understanding the subtle hints of a woman. ;-) Not even when it is very obvious for you.

Also you are as a musician and writer in a very good position to use the very fear you experience now and translate this to a master piece in music and writing? ;-)

Re: Isolation

nzder2012 27 Nov 2012 03:57

Hi Rattlyknees

We've all been in this situation, and sadly some still are, but once you've found someone you feel comfortable with, and just talk with them about what it is that is giving you these fears, and then instead of feeding that fear, start killing it off by bringing some scientific thinking into which ever claims are bothering you, discussing how impossible they are, read about them through this site (links to the left), and then just laugh it all off! Come 22nd and the 23rd and so on all the way through to 2013, you will wonder why you and your friends and family even got worked up over non scientific nonsense. Final thought for you: find ways to keep yourself busy, go out with friends, do activities, do some side projects like I am, and eventually all this 2012 BS will drain away into nothingness. Happy days :)

Re: Isolation

rattlyknees 26 Nov 2012 14:29

My (ok for lack of a better term) sense of social responsibility is compounded by TERRIBLE, REALLY TERRIBLE shame. My fear of 12/21 is my dirty little secret. It separates me from my friends who are going about their lives, helping their kids with colleges applications, starting their Christmas shopping (if I leave it until last minute, will I be able to leave my house to enter a store?)

No one I know (except an elderly, pessimistic, curmudgeon whom I avoid like the plague) thinks we are going down the tubes in the cinematic way that the 12/21 Fan Club does. (And I am not - really not - a willing member!)

So yeah, I need to talk to my honey. And I'm afraid to. He countered me last summer with rationality - a good thing by itself - but not much actual comfort, which is what I need right now. This fear kind of sends me back to a child-state (in fact, it has roots back in the Cold War era when all of us kids were ducking and covering to the sound of air raid sirens and my father was crying in front of us because the US and Russia were on the brink over missiles in Cuba). So, I know… it kinda makes sense in that context. Not a sense I want to embrace, but ick - there it is.

That said, I sometimes feel that the only place I'll be "safe" during the week of 12/21 is in a psych hospital (I got put in back in Jan. 2011 after the blackbird die-off. It sent me over the edge totally, and I could not tell anyone but the resident shrinks treating me.)

Anyway, thanks for listening. Off to work to impersonate a brave, sane woman…

And yes, you are helping. I don't want to live like this. Half of me knows I don't have to, and I am glad you are here to help me "bulk up" that half.

Re: Isolation

obaeyens 27 Nov 2012 17:31

My fear of 12/21 is my dirty little secret.

How can it still be a secret when you told us? ;-)

So yeah, I need to talk to my honey. And I'm afraid to. He countered me last summer with rationality - a good thing by itself - but not much actual comfort, which is what I need right now.

MEN! ;-)
But maybe you should realize, even if it does not help, that he at least tries to do it in a very clumsy way ;-)

Re: Isolation

Flamingboy 26 Nov 2012 14:47

Let's keep in touch with reality, seriously.

If a body such as Nibiru existed it would be visible by now. Not visible? Ok, if it's not visible then its mass or gravity could be detected regardless of whether the loonies consider it a planet or a brown dwarf. Furthermore, any credible scientist will tell you that if a body existed having entered our inner solar system then we wouldn't be here now, we would have perished long before it got close to the Earth.

It would have already disrupted the orbits not only that of the Earth but….also that of Mars and Venus too….that's scientific FACT!!!

All the planets are in orbit as they should be and no changes have been detected. What are these looney tunes gonna do when they wake up on December 23rd? Morons…absolute morons.

Nibiru doesn't exist….it can't be seen….it can't be detected….it's not there.

Re: Isolation

Tomy2011 26 Nov 2012 15:37

I still don't get why you can't speak to your boyfriend about that. Trust him, and tell him what you are fearing and he probably will have wise words to say to you. The more people helping you, the quicker you will get rid of your fears. It's very important for you to share your concerns with friends and, well, everyone you trust. Go start your Christmas shopping, do what you do everyday normally. Keeping your mind busy will be very good for you. But, most important, stop and think what is worrying you the most right now. Is it Nibiru, Galactic Alignment, the Pole Shift, earthquakes, solar flares, asteroids…? And deal with each fear one by one. You didn't mention Nibiru, but if it frightens you very much, you can read read Flamingboy's post above. It kind of sums up everything about it. Also, read those links on the left, each of them, entirely.

And good luck! ;-)

Re: Isolation

jasonb75 26 Nov 2012 16:40

Rattlyknees: I wish you the best of luck. I also suffered from anxiety over this stuff, and once you succumb to it, its hard to fight your way back to reality. When I first came on this site I believed in almost all the garbage claims that have been thrown out there. I believed aliens came to earth to help ancient civilizations grow and educate, I believed in shadow forms of government, and so much more. Tommy is right above, you need to tackle each fear head on. Ask anyone, I was all over the place when i signed up for this site and it took me a good few months to get over all my fears. I was also in a unique situation having 4 kids and a wife thats super religious. But I can honestly say that this site and the research this site has taught me to do has helped me tremendously. I'm not embarrassed of my actions nor the worries that kept me up at night. Once i saw this stupid video about Nibiru from an Antartica science base, and it freaked me out so much I had to call my wife at 3am at her job none the less. My wife has a simple way of looking at things because of her religious background, but she always knows how to calm me down. Being able to talk to your loved ones is so important because if you are hiding behind this fake rational persona, the only person you are hurting is yourself. It was that night that I finally found this site, and i stayed up to 5 am asking tons of questions about everything that scared the crap out of me. YOu need to donate the same amount if not more time into reversing your psychology. Ask the tough questions, and learn the right approach to your fears or questions. The people associated with this site have overcome the fears you so desperately state, so don't feel uncomfortable speaking to us. There is no shame in having fear, and once you begin to open up and talk about it you will start to think more rationally and hopefully overcome your fears. Nothing is going to happen on that date, but that doesn't help you until you learn why. Science has always been the best answer for me, and its the reason why alot of people fall for the doomtard theories because they try to use science to explain their whacky theories. The only problem is they aren't scientist nor are they experts in astronomy, physics, anthropology, or any other field of expertise. The men and women on this site are however. Like tommy said, look to the info on your left and read through it all. I rushed into asking hundreds of questions without reviewing the info on the left. All of my questions were answered once I reviewed the categories to my left. so take the time to read through them. You can get better, and even if you suffer from medical depression or anxiety, at least you can eliminate world ending scenarios from you mind. Good luck, we're all here for you.

Re: Isolation

rattlyknees 28 Nov 2012 16:09

All of you are so kind and smart. (As I said to my shrink, the people here are compassionate and hard-headed. Really. I am grateful. But prepare yourselves; I may be posting a lot between now and 12/21.)

My other weakness, and it's big, is that I was born into a family of pessimists. I think it's encoded in my DNA. There was a song we learned as little kids, and one of the lyrics was "if you're on the bottom you can't fall down." It's kind of my motto. Useless, but voila. So here I am, worst-case-scenario-izing, and I get totally DRAWN IN by anyone who sounds faintly like they know what they are talking about. (Some of the other threads here are places I cannot safely go.)

I will say, though, I have had the good sense never to google "2012" or "end of the world". (I found you guys via my one google search on the topic "the world will not end in 2012.")

I am glad I am not alone in this battle, some of whose warriors have come out the other side and are ok. Thanks JasonB. Yes, I want to talk to my boyfriend; I don't have the courage yet but this going it alone is leaving me feeling so far away from him.

Re: Isolation

Gary A 28 Nov 2012 16:45

Hi rattlyknees;

The best thing to do is try and remind yourself of this one fact. It's not that these doomsday events might happen or there's a "what if" or a "maybe" hanging around here. These predicted events are not only silly, they are completely 100% no doubt about it impossible. It's like thinking "what if my goldfish sets fire to the house" or "maybe my head will fall off all on its own." These things just don't happen do they? Of course not, they're absurd ideas, but they are no less absurd than the claims promoted by 2012 proponents. Planets don't just magically appear out of nowhere, planet earth doesn't suddenly decide to flip it's rotation axis, planetary alignments don't suddenly start producing these magical gravitational forces that they've never had before.

You're worrying yourself over ridiculous ideas, they only sound like they make sense because you don't understand science, or that's what I'm assuming anyway. I know from first hand experience that someone telling you that you're being silly isn't always enough, but one piece of advice that has always won me over was "know your enemy." Irrationally afraid of flying? Learn about flight, learn how the wings generate lift etc. You see what I'm saying? You're irrationally afraid of the cosmos, so learn about it. Learn about gravity, about the laws of physics and all the other stuff that you fear. There's not one person here who this hasn't worked for, myself included.

I wish you the best in getting over this and trust me, you're welcome to ask as many questions as you like, provided you aren't deliberately scaring yourself. I'll let you go now, I'm sure I saw your goldfish playing with a box of matches…

---

The great thing about science is, it's true whether you believe in it or not.

Last edited on 29 Nov 2012 08:46 by Gary A Show more

Re: Isolation

rattlyknees 28 Nov 2012 23:13

Gary—

Thanks for the goldfish image. I think this was probably the first laugh-out loud moment I've had about the end of the world! and yes, oddly enough I am afraid of flying. I'm also afraid that my looking afraid on a plane is going to make people around me afraid I'm a terrorist. hmmm…

Re: Isolation

Flamingboy 28 Nov 2012 23:37

Well said Gary, well said!!!

Re: Isolation

jasonb75 28 Nov 2012 16:47

You should be able to talk to him, and if you fear talking to him about this or you are worried he won't accept you for who you are and all of your worries, then maybe he isn't the right man for you. But i'm guessing its more you than him, in so much so that you are embarrassed to speak freely about these sort of things. Well maybe you can begin lightly, without divulging all of your worries at once. Test the water so to speak. Bring up the topic and wait for his reaction. If he denounces the claims immediately, then he is probably the right person for you to open up to. But if he does it in a sort of mocking way calling all those that believe whachos, it might present a more precarious situation for you. Either way, I'm betting on real love to prevail, and you shouldn't worry. So often in relationships we try being someone we aren't, and I suspect thats why so many relationships and marriages fail. The truth is, the truth always works best even if it doesn't seem like it will. Good luck

Re: Isolation

Alene Y 29 Nov 2012 06:34

Hey Rattlyknees,
I can't top Gary's or the other posts, but I just want to assure you that we'll be here to help you through it, so you won't be isolated on that level.

Re: Isolation

igormannen1 29 Nov 2012 09:07

Hi there,
I too was scare of this date, well maybe not for years but it all began in March this year (stumbled across Patrick f*g Garyl), found this site (Astrogeek, Bikenbeer, JuJu, Alene, Gary, Obaeyens, Bugbait and all the others great guest views and posts), now I´m LMFAO at every single claim. It´s a bit more then three weeks left of this nonsense, and I now that everyone here will try their best to be here stand by as "the date" approaches.
Marry Christmas everyone.
Igor

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"If you can, help others; if you cannot do that, at least do not harm them" - Dalai Lama

Re: Isolation

Alene Y 29 Nov 2012 20:30

@Igor,
That's very good to hear, Igor.
Merry Christmas to you.

Re: Isolation

rattlyknees 03 Dec 2012 23:22

I'm surprised to say that a lot of the time I'm kind of okay. A year ago, I really thought that by about October of this year I would be hospitalized from all the fearmongering. Instead, I'm carrying on, more or less. But then there are those moments: they hit me like darts going into a nerve. I start thinking: "we only have two more Mondays left to exist" — stuff like that — and my blood runs cold.

What maybe makes this the hardest for me is my good old-fashioned fire & brimstone upbringing. I got it pretty well drummed into me early on that 1) I am, first and foremost, a sinner who cannot be forgiven unless she repents; and 2) it is people like me that God reserves his worst wrath for. So, WHOA, I DO NOT WANT TO BE DYIN'! not until I've figured out what repentance means how to do it. And I haven't. I'm pretty run-of-the-mill when it comes to being a decent human being; I try, but I like stuff especially if it's my style and on sale, I find good gossip irresistible, I shock myself with how impatient I can be and how mean my thoughts can get.

So I walk around half the time asking myself how on earth God can like me, and I'm trying very hard in church to replace that particular God with one who loves everybody. Who doesn't walk around with a spare lightning bolt in his belt loop.

But 12/21 is making it hard to control that. I love the coverage of the topics on the left-hand page of this website, and I'm taking the advice to read each one of them. What I really want, though, is for someone to come along and say "OK, so I just got out of this meeting with God, and he wants to let you know that He likes you just the way you are."

12/21 is probably as much about not loving myself and about long-term depression as it is about anything else. Stupid, isn't it.

Re: Isolation

metalangel 03 Dec 2012 23:36

@ratty knees
it isn't stupid because depression is a very serious thing to go through. I have to take medication because of it.

Re: Isolation

rattlyknees 09 Dec 2012 04:44

Thanks Metalangel,

I know, it really is serious. If I go off my meds, I get very ill. I read in one of your other posts somewhere on the forum that you were hospitalized a few years back because of all of this, before you got a handle on it. I was too. I have so much admiration for you for pulling through and being there for other people.

Rattly

Japan earthquake--here we go again?

rattlyknees 07 Dec 2012 13:18

so every morning I turn on my computer to get the news. Yahoo, I know. Not the best place to check in about that stuff. But it's convenient when you have just two minutes. I'm always searching for something awful that may have happened during the night, and when I don't find it I kind of say to myself "so there, see? Everything is fine." Then I see that there was another earthquake in Japan yesterday.

It helps me to know that the area hit is in the "Ring of Fire", and that they get temblors all the time; it also helps me to know that no one was hurt in this one. But still. I get this stab in the stomach when I see stuff like this.

I've been going along pretty well in the last several days. I even showed my therapist this site, and she was very impressed and proud of me for finding it. And I haven't had to take any Ativan for a couple of weeks now. But I feel incredibly fragile, and I am doing that awful, relentless mental countdown. We have two weeks left. and what was this thing about 12/23 being a predicted day, too?

Not much point to this post, really, just to touch base with you guys and get a rationality booster. I am yearning for this to be over. I want my life back, run-of-the-mill black depression and all.

Rattly

Re: Japan earthquake--here we go again?

Artelis 07 Dec 2012 13:24

We have two weeks left. and what was this thing about 12/23 being a predicted day, too?

It's called "moving the goalposts". The doomies are realising that not a damn thing they claimed would happen, is showing any signs of happening. So they shift the time window a little. It gives them time to come up with some excuse, make a few more sales, cause more hysteria, etc.

Expect even more dates to show up over the coming weeks, all just as meaningless.

As for the earthquake, you already know it means nothing. It's Japan… they expect significant earthquakes to happen, so should everyone else.

---

Hear the music before the song is over…

Last edited on 07 Dec 2012 13:26 by Artelis Show more

Re: Japan earthquake--here we go again?

TheGreatJuju 07 Dec 2012 13:25

As someone pointed out in another thread, we haven't even hit the yearly average of M7.0-7.9 earthquakes yet.

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"They tell you, but do you believe it? If so, why?"

http://www.undeadrufus.com

Re: Japan earthquake--here we go again?

rattlyknees 09 Dec 2012 04:47

I know, and that's helpful. It also has helped me that NPR and the BBC mentioned the quake only in passing. Still, rough weekend here. Isolation swallowing me up again. About to start another thread. Hoping I'm doing this right.