My name is Justin, and I have been browsing this site for about 6 months now. I visit it daily, and it's my second most viewed page for Google Chrome. I like to think of myself as a logical person with a rational mind. Because of this, I have excluded myself from religion (but remain agnostic), and I use my head before everything else. If I think this way, why would I visit this site daily?
Because I have diagnosed myself with GAD (Generalized Anxiety Disorder), I just haven't sought treatment for it yet. Now I know a lot of people worry about silly things, but I take it to a new level, hence why I have diagnosed myself with GAD. Since I was 2-3 (I was born in 1989), I had vivid dreams and fears of something happening to my parents. I would explain to them dreams I had to where they were killed or abandoned me and that I was all alone. I remember ALWAYS worrying myself sick when they were gone that they were dead in a car wreck, or that someone would break into my home at night while we were asleep.
I even remember being terrified of Y2K to the point to where I was sick constantly. I was 10 years old.
I fear court dates even over speeding tickets thinking that I will be put in jail. Whenever I hear a storm siren in my town I fear that a tornado is going to kill my family. I was 20 years old last year when the rapture prediction was made, and I was petrified that it was going to happen. Like I stated before, I am NOT a religious person, but due to my overwhelming anxiety over everything, I was still scared of this date. Then when it passed, I was terrified all the way up until October 21st, when it was supposed to "really" go down.
Oh, and I was terrified of the LHC a few years ago, and I remember calling my girlfriend that night while she was asleep and telling her I loved her simply because I thought I wouldn't see her again. That's how bad my irrational fears are.
I frequent this site to keep a level head. I hate being to myself, and I usually am nightly. My wife works 5:00AM - 1:30PM every day, and I usually work 2nd shift, so my sleeping hours are a bit different than hers. The other night my internet was out, and I started thinking of December 21st again. It was the silliest stuff you can think of, ranging from a government coverup to just a simple, "what if they're wrong?" I worried myself to the point to where I vomited on two separate occasions.
Does this sound like GDA to anyone else? And if so; how do I go about getting treatment for it? I haven't let my fears or anxiety be known to anybody but this site. My wife doesn't even know. She blatantly asked me the other day if I was scared of the 21st (she had noticed my most viewed websites), and I had to sit there and lie to her because I didn't want to look stupid. I honestly don't know what I'm afraid of. I know it isn't going to happen. I know this, yet, I am terrified.
Until the 22nd is here, I fear (to add insult to injury) that I am only going to sit in my own head and think about all of the horrible ways I could die in 9 days.