| Can't decode those New Age sites? We're here to help! |
Have you read a new age page and found yourself wondering what the heck they're on about? Were you unable to make heads or tails of their bizarre vocabulary? Well, fear no more!
Abundance Exchange/Exchange of Abundance: Money you're going to have to fork over to get the goods the 'Guru' is giving out. Basically, a euphemism for "fee." Some New Agers actually claim that their services are free, but you'll be required to give a hefty abundance exchange.
Age of Aquarius: According to some new agers, in 2012 the "Age of Aquarius" will begin. It follows the current "Age of Pisces". Each age is approximately 2,150 years long. There are many interpretations of this new age that may begin in 2012, as you can read here.
Akashic Records: A spiritual or aetheric realm where the sum of human experience and knowledge are stored. Since its existence is unverifiable, it makes a convenient place to claim you pulled all that stuff you just made up from.
(Insert-Noun-Here) Child: A special sort of soul incarnated on Earth to help humanity ascend to the next level in our evolution. If the traits of indigo, diamond, rainbow, or dolphin children don't fit you, don't fret - someone's always coming out with a new type of child every other week.
Dimension: Used to mean "level" or "realm" rather than a mathematical plane. The higher the dimension, the less physical and more ethereal it is. Alternatively, used to refer to the level of your psychic abilities. A seventh dimensional being is more powerful than a sixth dimension being is more powerful than a fifth dimensional being and so on.
Energy: An invisible magic cloud. Not potential to do work as the rest of us have been taught.
Lightworker: Someone who is supposed to be here on Earth to improve things. Whether or not they actually are is questionable…
Evolution: The process of becoming a better, shinier, and more psychic lifeform.
Knowing: The New Age equivalent of Truthiness, which is knowledge that you just intuitively know deep inside to be true, reason and logic be damned. See also Truth below.
Quantum: Freakin' magic.
Raising Consciousness: Basically the same as raising awareness, EG, raising awareness about cancer or racism. Of course, New Agers rarely raise consciousness about cancer or racism - they usually raise consciousness about the latest mass meditation project that is supposed to change the world ala the Care Bear Stare.
Truth: Whatever sounds plausible to you at the moment. Your truth can be different from Bob or Joe's truth. You can't tell Joe he's full of it because truth is all subjective anyway.
Vibrational Level: The vibration of your personal energy. High vibration is good, low vibration is bad. Disagreeing with a lightworker is usually a sign you have a low energy vibration.